Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
