just tell him i said nine months
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize