Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
