Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
