watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
