oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
