My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
