Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
