so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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