He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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