and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
