This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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