I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
