dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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