so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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