Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
