its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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