Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
