Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
