Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
