We're like a lot better than the average bears
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
