She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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