i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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