Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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