wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
