In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize