Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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