Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
