Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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