I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i was born a porn star she said
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
whose parrot is this?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
