I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
