I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
