dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
