turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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