But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Enjoy the penises
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize