That's intense
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
