distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize