it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I supernannyed him into submission
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
