You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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