you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize