your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
