Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
