So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
