if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
