I only kidnapped one of them. chill
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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