what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
