Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
