what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
