i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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