Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize