I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
