Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
