The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
