Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
barbara walters just said penis...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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