Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
