I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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