the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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